9 Networking tips for introverts

Networking events can be overwhelming for introverts. I recently had an opportunity to brainstorm with a group of introverts about how to be more effective at networking. Here are some of the tips the group came up with:

1. Set goals. Decide before the event what you want to accomplish, and don’t leave the event before achieving your goal. For example: How many people you want to meet? Is there a specific organization for which you want to find a contact?
2. Prepare an introduction. Prepare and practice a brief (15-30 seconds) personal introduction. Knowing what you will say ahead of time makes introductions easier, and the consistent message helps to establish your personal brand. (You don’t want to come across as mechanical and scripted, but you should be able to quickly and clearly explain who you are and what you do.)
3. Take a break. Be aware of your mood and energy level. For many introverts, working a crowd can be very exhausting, and it can start to show in your body language. If necessary, leave the room for a few moments to refresh and regroup.
4. Find the food. People are typically more approachable around food. Talking and eating just seem to go together.
5. Arrive early. Introverts are typically more comfortable in smaller groups, so plan to arrive early when the crowd is smaller. People are often eager to connect with someone as soon as they walk in, so being there early allows you to greet people as they arrive.
6. Spot the loners. It’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone standing alone than to break into a group conversation.
7. Practice. Go to several networking events and become more comfortable socializing. Remember that networking is a skill that requires practice. The more you practice, the better you become. Take advantage of safe environments such as church and school events to hone your skills.
8. Eye contact. It is very tempting for the introvert’s mind to wander. They may be thinking about what to say next, or simply processing what they are hearing. Stay focused on the other person by maintaining good eye contact.
9. Smile. A genuine smile attracts people to you.
10. Find a partner. Ask an experienced networker to introduce you to others. It helps break the ice. Be sure to find a way to reciprocate the favor (remember, effective networking is about giving, not getting). Updated 4/5/2007 — thanks to Pete Aldin.

Any other ideas? Please share them.

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A sociable introvert

At a seminar I was attending recently, we were asked to divide ourselves into groups of self-described extroverts and introverts. Several people were surprised when I joined the introverts group. They pointed out that throughout the seminar, they had observed me

• approaching strangers to introduce myself,
• initiating conversations,
• asking questions during the session, and
• volunteering to speak before the group.

Surely, then, I must be an extrovert.

But not so fast… What they don’t know about me is that after the seminar I need to have some “alone” time to recharge. Whether it is reading, writing, taking a walk, or some similar activity, I need some time alone to reflect on and process the stimuli I’ve just received.

• Extroverts draw energy from external stimuli (e.g. people and things).
• Introverts draw energy from internal stimuli (e.g. ideas and concepts).

People sometimes equate introversion with shyness or social awkwardness, but introverts do not necessarily lack social skills. While shyness may be a factor for some, the dysfunction of many introverts in social settings has less to do with shyness than it does with energy. In other words, the introvert may become so content entertaining his internal stimuli that he doesn’t perceive a need to expend energy on external stimuli. My son has a t-shirt that summarizes this introvert mindset. It says:

“I’m in my own little world. But that’s okay… they know me here.”

For many introverts, therefore, the challenge of social situations is not to overcome shyness. The challenge is to recognize and appreciate the value of the external stimuli. After all, the external stimuli are a cornucopia of the things we introverts really love:

more stuff to think about.